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Oh Shit

May 14, 2013 by Arthur

The below post was meant to go out a couple of days back, but luckily we’ve found most of our trek to be completely devoid of internet access. Since then we’ve seen more cool shit, gone over the snow covered 5,500 meter high Thorung La pass, fantasized about all the restaurants we’ll eat at upon our return that don’t serve rice with lentils, thoroughly debated how many showers would be too many to have per day once we have unfettered access to hot water that doesn’t come from a rusty bucket (thus far there is certain consensus that 4 a day is perfectly acceptable for at least the first week) and learned that at above 3,000 meters if you only need to wear 5 layers of clothing indoors to stay warm, that means its “summer” and there is no need to turn the heat on in the dinning hall.

And now the post you’ve all been waiting for:

For those of you still on the fence about coming to Nepal, I’d like to inform you that the place literally has fields of merijuana. They belong to no one and simply grow by the roadside like, well a bunch of weeds.

In all seriousness, Nepal is a beautiful and fascinating country and we’d highly advise everyone to come to Nepal and see all the cool shit they have here. They have cow shit, water-buffalo shit, goat shit, donkey shit, horse shit, sheep shit, cheap shit (mostly manufactured in China and labeled as expensive American and European brand outdoors gear) and yak shit which once you get to a certain altitude you’ll realize is the only fuel source available for heat as no living organisms in its right mind, trees included, are willing to put up with the freezing cold, blistering wind and lack of, that highly taken-for-granted commodity, oxygen. On the topic of shit, I can report that Ford has managed to succumb to 2 of the 4 possible types of diarrhea. Worry not though, we are heading into a region know for its Giardia, a single cell organism highly prized by nature for its ability to relive you of your constipation and your overall water content, so we are hoping that we can get at least 3 out of 4 if not the full quad-fecta by the end of the trip. On that note, I intend to seriously study the market potential of Nepali water as a rat poison and as a weight-loss dietary supplement upon my return to the states.

Though I’ll be happy to share my full 250 item packing list complete with post-trip updates on my return, I’d like to make one specific recommendation. Bring a serious SLR camera and have it mounted at all times to the outside of your pack. Sure its an extra thousand dollars if you don’t already have one and a couple of extra pounds to carry around, but I assure it’ll all be worth it when you won’t look like a complete pussy when you stop every 15 seconds to pantingly catch your breath, under the guise of taking that next National Geographic worthy photo, as you ascent past 3,000 meters. The good news is there are plenty of incredible vistas at every turn in Nepal so no one will suspect a thing. Try to make sure you don’t let more then a minute or two pass between photos lest you pass out from oxygen deprivation. Oh and whatever lens you were going to bring, bring a wider one. The mountains are really really really big. No. Really.

In summary trekking in Nepal is beautiful albeit painful, smelly and cold. Oh and I’d kill for a steak or even a piece of fish, let alone another pack of wet-wipes to “shower” with.


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